


Two Halves Make a Whole (Union of Two of Hearts)

by seohoverse



Series: House of Cards [3]
Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Geonhak is too sweet I think I got cavities, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mirror Sex, Praise Kink (sort of?), Smut, to my friend who's probably lurking underneath the tag please look away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25189954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seohoverse/pseuds/seohoverse
Summary: Seoho's getting better at dispelling his doubts, but Geonhak knows there must be something else to deliver the final blow. Something to wash away the last of his uncertainties.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho
Series: House of Cards [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800469
Comments: 12
Kudos: 78





	Two Halves Make a Whole (Union of Two of Hearts)

**Author's Note:**

> AH, IT'S THE THIRD AND FINAL PARTTTT! I might just cry because writing this was the highlight of my days for the past month or so, and I'm so sad that I'm finished writing. Because of this story, I was reminded why I love writing so much, and I hate to see this story end :(
> 
> Also, I have the tendency to prolong things and make my stories longer than I'd originally planned, and this is just another proof of that. I meant for this part to be as long as part one (which is exactly what I said about part two), and then I ended up writing a little too much. I hate myself sometimes.
> 
> Anyways, I actually haven't written anything explicit since November, so this was kind of a mess, so I really hope you guys don't mind *runs and hides in a corner* ;-;

Geonhak and Seoho's newly established relationship was no secret amongst their staff, which was both a great thing and a bad thing. It was amazing because Geonhak didn't have to hide his feelings for Seoho, and they could be as openly affectionate with one another as much as they possibly could before all their members were curling back in disgust and making gagging noises. The majority of the time, Geonhak was the one initiating everything because Seoho was still apprehensive, still struggling to unlock his locked chest. However, he was getting slightly better, now that he'd finally taken Geonhak's outstretched hand and accepted his help. But it was also absolute hell if all the teasing he got was anything to go by. He was a bit better at shouldering the teasing they received, but Seoho wasn't. Not when he still struggled to relax when even a few pairs of eyes fell on him. 

The teasing wasn't even the worst of it. The scolding he always received from his makeup artist was. Normally, Geonhak and Seoho would only exchange innocent pecks before Seoho shied away, but when they got daring, Geonhak would lock them in a storage room to initiate a makeout session. Whenever he returned with his hair tousled from where Seoho's fingers constantly ran through, and with his makeup smeared, he'd get an earful from his makeup artist as she tried to touch up his makeup again and fix the damage. Fixing the makeup wasn't hard, though, and it always took her under five minutes. She just liked to have a reason to pick on Geonhak, which was fine.

At least they weren't leaving marks on one another. That would've been a different story. They'd never actually taken things that far yet, mostly because Geonhak didn't see a need to rush. After pining after Seoho for the longest time, he wanted to take his time developing their relationship until Seoho was completely comfortable around him and no longer felt like he had a reason to be self-conscious. Not to mention, Seoho never let Geonhak kiss anywhere below his neck, curling into himself whenever Geonhak's lips grazed his collarbone. 

The waiting room was chaotic, as usual, while they waited to be on standby for that week's Weekly Idol episode. They'd been invited to visit again on the variety show after their last appearance, which was shortly after Raise Us had been released.

After his makeup artist added the final stroke to darkening his eyebrows, Geonhak sprung out of his seat and scanned the waiting room for Seoho. Dongju and Hwanwoong were facing one another on the couch, Hwanwoong evaluating the little script Dongju had written for himself to say. He'd wanted to be as prepared as he possibly could. Young Jo was still in the process of getting his eyeshadow done, and Keonhee was busy scrolling through his phone, gawking at whatever was on the screen.

Seoho wasn't anywhere to be found. Geonhak frowned. "Hey, does anyone know where Seoho is?"

"Why, planning on sucking faces off with your boyfriend?" Dongju said, stopping in the middle of the small speech he'd prepared.

Geonhak scowled. "It's not like that. I'm just worried—that's all. We might have to be on standby soon." He tried not to let the word _boyfriend_ affect him. Even though they were now official, he still found it hard to believe that he'd finally scored the one person he'd pined after for years. 

Hwanwoong snickered behind his hand, failing miserably at hiding his amusement at Geonhak's slight annoyance. Young Jo, being the only helpful one, perked up from his seat. "I remember hearing him say that he would practice what he wanted to say in one of the other rooms." The only one Geonhak could trust in their group was Young Jo, really. 

"Yeah, apparently, the waiting room was too loud," Hwanwoong added before feigning innocence. "Don't know what he meant by _that_." He really had the audacity to say that when just ten minutes ago, he, Dongju, and Keonhee had been playing a serious life-or-death game of rock-papers-scissors. They'd played with their foreheads on the line, the loser of every round earning a forehead flick. Keonhee had lost repeatedly and earned himself a bright red forehead. 

Tuning out the rest of Hwanwoong's words, Geonhak left the waiting room in search of Seoho. As he passed staff members in the hall, he bowed respectfully to them, craning his neck over everyone's heads in hopes of catching a glimpse of Seoho's ebony hair. He huffed, frustrated when he couldn't find him. Every door that he passed by was shut tightly, and he was sure Seoho wasn't in any of those.

Then, he came across one of the storage rooms, the door open ajar, and when Geonhak peered inside, he caught the form of someone clad in simple black ripped jeans, and a white button-down. He had his back to the door, a sheet of paper in hand as he frantically tried to rehearse what he wanted to say during the broadcast. Pushing the door open a bit more, Geonhak leaned against the door frame, quietly observing. Seoho still hadn't caught on that he was there yet. 

" _Hi, my name is Seoho, and main position is_ —No, something about that doesn't sound right," Seoho muttered before he attempted it again. He was rehearsing what he'd say in English, Geonhak realized. Seoho mumbled something else before backtracking and clucking his tongue, disapproving. 

Geonhak chose that time to interrupt, startling Seoho half to death when he encircled his waist. Peering over his shoulder, Geonhak tried to read the small script Seoho had prepared on the sheet of paper, choosing to give up halfway. Despite knowing what Seoho was doing, he still asked, "Hey, what're you doing?"

Seoho huffed, waving the script in front of Geonhak's face, his expression screaming, _isn't it obvious?_ "I'm trying to practice what to say before the broadcast. I heard there's going to be a guest host who's Canadian, so I should probably practice my English. But I can't seem to get these words right. I don't even know if I'll be able to remember them." He worried his bottom lip, gnawing on it so harshly, he was sure it looked chewed up already.

Geonhak frowned. "Stop doing that to your lip. Only I can do that to it." Seoho's ears reddened, and he swatted at Geonhak's arms, pushing him away. Turning away, Seoho mumbled under his breath—something about Geonhak being shameless—but to Geonhak's relief, Seoho stopped chewing his bottom lip. 

Paying Geonhak no more mind, Seoho continued to practice, stumbling on his words. He grew frustrated by the second, and he wondered if it was only him who found the English language hard to grasp. The letters began popping out of the page, dancing before his eyelids, yet he still couldn't memorize them. 

Then Geonhak spoke again. "Hyung, your outfit looks cute."

At the mention of his outfit, Seoho tensed. When his stylist had assembled the outfit and presented it to him, Seoho had grimaced at it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd worn jeans, choosing to wear sweatpants because they were baggier and weren't so form-fitting. When he'd asked his stylist if he could leave the shirt untucked, she's shaken her head, saying she wanted him to wear it tucked in, so it looked better. Now he felt too exposed, too bare for everyone to see. 

Seoho was doing that thing again with his eyes—where they went all distant as he lost himself to his thoughts—and he'd gone back to gnawing at his bottom lip. Geonhak sighed and spun Seoho around to face him. The older continued to avoid his gaze. "Hyung, what did I say about not doing this with your eyes anymore?" 

Seoho inhaled sharply and willed himself to relax. It was just Geonhak. "Right, I'm sorry—"

"And no more apologies, either, hyung. We've been over this." 

Seoho knew that, and he was trying. He really was. He was getting better, but more often than not, Seoho still found himself wanting to curl back into his cave, wanting to rebuild the walls surrounding him and lock everyone out again. But this was Geonhak—Geonhak who had noticed him before anyone else had, and who'd waited patiently for him to open up at his own pace, never pressuring him. Even if he still skittered around everyone else, he should, at least, let himself go with Geonhak. He was his _boyfriend_. After everything he'd done for him, it wasn't fair for him to shy away from Geonhak's outstretched hand.

Another apology sat on Seoho's tongue, but he managed to swallow it down, knowing Geonhak wouldn't like it in the slightest. But he was still restless, Geonhak could tell. Something was bothering him again, even though he was biting his tongue and staying silent. Which was what they agreed not to do. "Something's bothering you, Seoho. What is it?" Before Seoho could mutter out that it was nothing, Geonhak butted in, "And don't say it's nothing. I told you to trust me. Talk to me, okay?"

Whenever he opened his mouth to speak, he'd feel weighed down, a little bit like he was drowning all over again. He'd open his mouth to speak, but instead, he'd get a mouthful of the salty ocean water, and he'd be dunked under the surface. But Geonhak was patient, and he always waited. Never once lashed out at Seoho for holding back, or for needing space when things got a little too overwhelming. Instead, he would run a soothing hand up and down Seoho's arm, the other one massaging circles into his waist—similar to what he was doing now.

"Does my outfit not seem weird to you?" Seoho asked, gesturing to his whole body, and the jeans that still clung uncomfortably to his thighs.

Geonhak shook his head. "Of course not. It's really casual, and it suits you. Why, do you not like it?" When he saw the uneasy look in Seoho's gaze, he finally caught on, and he made a sound of understanding. "Oh, did you want something more...?" Seoho nodded, shifting from foot-to-foot, and Geonhak cupped his cheeks, forcing the vocalist to look him in the eye. "Well, for the record, I think you look great."

Seoho's eyes narrowed, skeptical as he searched Geonhak's face for the slightest hint of a lie. "Really?"

"What, did you want me to say you looked bad? Can't exactly lie to you, hyung." Seoho scowled, shoving him away while calling him a prick, but Geonhak grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer, planting a kiss on his lips and leaving Seoho stupefied. Even when Seoho glared at him, there was the apparent red tint on the tips of his ears, and Geonhak grinned smugly. "Hey, I have an idea. What if we do something to take your mind off everything that's stressing you out?"

Seoho perked up. "Hm? Like what?" There was a teasing glint in Geonhak's eyes, a hint of mischief, and Seoho already knew what those eyes promised. He'd seen that gleam in his eyes more than once, that twinkle that warned him of how he'd act up before Geonhak was tugging him away from the prying eyes of their members, and their managers who'd persistently stick their noses in their business. "Geonhak, don't stare at me like that. I know what you're thinking, and we don't have time for that right now."

Geonhak feigned the innocence of a kicked puppy, all pouty with eyes that begged and tore at Seoho's heart. "They won't call us out for a while. The broadcast doesn't start for another half hour or so. We have plenty of time."

Seoho had always been horrible at denying Geonhak of anything he wanted, and when they'd become boyfriends, it had only gotten worse. Geonhak had him wrapped around his pinky finger, never capable of rejecting him. He easily succumbed to him, letting himself be drawn to him the way a moth was drawn to flames. 

This time was no different.

~~~

When Seoho and Geonhak stumbled back into the waiting room, the members all gave them knowing looks. Geonhak caught the faint grumble of his makeup artist to his left. He was definitely in for another lecture from her as she redid his makeup. 

"Wow, Dongju, you were right. They really went to make out in a corner," Hwanwoong clucked his tongue, giving the pair's dishevelled appearances a once-over in distaste. 

Dongju groaned. "Hyung, I was just _joking_! I didn't say that for you to actually go do it."

Seoho had the decency to look sheepish to save his last shred of dignity, while Geonhak just glared at the other members. Before heading back, Geonhak had tried his best to straighten up their appearances, running his fingers through Seoho's hair. He had thumbed at the traces of lip gloss that had smudged everywhere on Seoho's face and attempted to smoothen out the wrinkles in Seoho's shirt. As debauched as Seoho was, he was sure he looked no different. No matter how much he tried, he wouldn't have been able to fix up their appearances. Anyone with a working pair of eyes would know what they'd been up to behind closed doors. At least now, Seoho smelt of him, too, and that filled Geonhak with a sense of pride. It offered him more security—knowing he'd left a trace of himself on Seoho as a warning for everyone to back off.

"You know, you two could've at least _tried_ to fix your appearances before walking in here like that," Keonhee groused.

"We did," Geonhak snapped, but he still pulled Seoho closer by his belt loop before proceeding to adjust his hair, running his fingers through his locks to smoothen them out once more. But really, it was just a good excuse to play with Seoho's hair. As Geonhak did what he had to do, Seoho was beet red, cheeks flaming as he avoided the other members' gazes. With everyone still watching, Geonhak tilted Seoho's head back and bent down, casually stealing a kiss from him and leaving Seoho stunned in his spot.

"Ewww," Dongju gagged, making a face. "Can't you take your bedroom actions somewhere else? No one wanted to see that."

It took all of Seoho's will to not melt into a puddle of shame on the floor. 

Before Geonhak could retaliate, their waiting room door opened, and they were told that the broadcast would start in five minutes. Upon hearing that, the nerves that Seoho had managed to suppress—with Geonhak's help, of course—came bubbling back up, catching in his throat. He played aimlessly with his fingers, tugged on the tucked ends of his shirt, fighting the urge to tug it out. He ran through the script he'd prepared in his head again, the words barely coming to mind.

Geonhak noticed how much he was squirming—he always did—and he grabbed Seoho's wrist, squeezing it gently. "Hey, what's there to worry about? You'll do fine. There's no need to be worried."

"I know, I know, I just..." Seoho should've been used to this—memorizing small scripts they made for one another, being in front of the camera, tight clothing. He'd been doing this for years, not just as a member of ONEUS, but also as a contestant of Produce 101 and MIXNINE. This was supposed to be nothing, but he still found himself sweating under the collar. Everything felt too overwhelming, piling on top of him at once, and it didn't help that Seoho had gotten used to a life with no cameras—and no eyes—on him when they went on their trip to Milan. Because behind those cameras were hundreds of thousands of eyes watching him, each of them having their own expectations for him—for them. Even though it had been a while since they returned, and they'd been before the camera multiple times after that, Seoho couldn't get accustomed to this lifestyle again. It was insane how one week in another country threw him off balance for so long. 

But Geonhak didn't need to hear what was on his mind to understand, and he rubbed Seoho's shoulder comfortingly. "Trust me, you'll do great. I promise. When have I ever lied to you?"

Geonhak was right. There was nothing to worry about. He'd successfully gotten through this before while promoting Raise Us—he could do it again, no problem. Besides, it wasn't like he was doing this alone, and he had Geonhak behind him, ready to catch him if he ever stumbled.

~~~

The moment Young Jo got their dorm room unlocked, Seoho was pushing past all of them and zipping to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Keonhee jumped in his spot. "What's wrong with him? He's been like that since the broadcast ended." The members all glanced warily at Keonhee, waiting for him to catch on, and when he did, he gawked. "Wait, he's not upset because he messed up his speaking part, is he?"

Geonhak sighed. Seoho had been doing so well at the start. He'd smiled and stopped touching his clothes, much to the delight of their stylists, who were watching off-set. It was almost as if Seoho had reverted to his past self—bubbly with smiles that reached his ears, soft cheeks bunched up. Geonhak had even considered kissing them, cameras be damned. 

Everything had been going well. Until Seoho's mind blanked out, and he tripped over his words. It hadn't even been that bad, but what made it worse was that it wasn't the first time. After that, he'd consistently fumbled with his words, one mistake opening the door for many more. If that wasn't bad enough, the hosts brought up how Seoho and Geonhak would go to the gym together, to which Geonhak had said that it'd been a while since they last went together. When Seoho said he hadn't been paying a visit to the gym as often as Geonhak did, the hosts just _had_ to comment on Seoho's build, directing the audience to focus solely on him, pushing him into the limelight. 

When Geonhak entered Seoho's bedroom, he found him sitting atop the sheets of the bottom bunk, eyes distant as he blanked out, knees pulled to his chest. His hair was tousled, indicating he'd just been laying on the bed, and his makeup wasn't looking the greatest, either. The thick eyeliner on Seoho's eyelids, along with the maroon eyeshadow with specks of gold in the corner of his eyes, were smudged. It was clear in his expression that exhaustion had finally caught up to him, and he wasn't in high spirits. He'd finally untucked the button-down from his pants. 

Seoho sensed that he was there—saw him approach out of his peripheral vision—but he didn't spare him a single glance, not even when Geonhak sat down next to him and laid a consoling hand on his back. "Hey, you okay?" Geonhak said. 

There was no point in lying to Geonhak's face anymore. He'd learnt to read Seoho's eyes and pick apart at even his most persuasive smiles. "It wasn't even anything bad—I just fumbled with my words a couple of times, yet I'm acting like the world is ending." Seoho's voice shook, and even his sharp inhale did nothing to help regulate it. "I'm—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make a scene—"

Geonhak was met with no resistance when he pulled Seoho into his side, letting the latter sag into him, his head resting on his shoulder. "No apologies, remember? You're getting there, I promise. You're getting better, and that's all that matters."

But was Seoho actually improving, as Geonhak claimed? Every time, Geonhak said the same thing—to trust him because he was getting better at accepting himself again. But it didn't seem like it to Seoho. To him, it seemed like he was struggling to swim in the same spot in that damn ocean, never moving forward. Maybe he was even moving backward, farther away from the shore, from safety. It seemed like he was anchored to the same spot, totally incapable of moving past the first stage and nearing his goal. Even though Geonhak was trying his best to shoulder a bit of the burden, it was Seoho's battle to fight, in the end—a battle against himself. There was only so much Geonhak could do.

"Hey, how about this?" Geonhak said suddenly, earning a questioning look from Seoho. "Let's get you out of these clothes and wash off your makeup, okay? Go take a nice, warm shower, and I'll bring you your comfortable clothes and we can just sit with the others in the living room. Or we can cuddle in bed if that's what you want."

Seoho was almost too embarrassed to ask. He felt his cheeks flame as he asked, "Can you bring me one of your hoodies?" Some things, he still couldn't get used to—such as asking Geonhak things that were completely normal for couples.

Geonhak was definitely not opposed to seeing Seoho in his clothes, especially not if that meant others knew he was his only. "If that's what you want, then of course."

There was a bit of effort put in removing the smudged makeup and the excess lip gloss on Seoho's lips, but the shower itself didn't take long. The mirror fogged up from the steam of the hot shower Seoho was taking, the vocalist making quick work of massaging shampoo into his hair and scrubbing his body down with strawberry-scented body wash. It was the body wash Geonhak always used. When Seoho stepped out of the shower, the tendrils of steam following him, he found his sweatpants and Geonhak's orange sweater sitting on the closed toilet seat. While changing, he didn't glance at himself in the mirror once. 

The members were all crammed on the couch when Seoho stepped out of the bathroom, except for Geonhak, who had chosen to sit on the floor. Upon seeing Seoho, Geonhak smiled and stood up. Ignoring the presence of the other members, Seoho made a beeline for Geonhak and let him wrap an arm around his shoulders. 

"Hey, Seoho hyung, are you feeling okay?" Hwanwoong asked, worried, to which Seoho just waved his hand dismissively. 

"I'm fine." Even when Hwanwoong opened his mouth to argue—because he was sure his definition of _fine_ differed greatly from Seoho's—he wasn't given room to butt in because Geonhak was already leading Seoho back to his bedroom, an arm wrapped securely around him.

When Geonhak pulled the covers over both of their bodies, Seoho mindlessly shuffled closer and settled his cheek on Geonhak's chest. This wasn't the first time they'd been in such a position—with Seoho listening to Geonhak's heartbeat, feeling the steady thump against his ear. That didn't mean he stopped squirming, though—unable to get used to it.

"Feeling better?" Geonhak asked. Seoho nodded against his chest, and he grinned, planting a kiss on the crown of his hair. That night, when they'd watched movies after the termination of their promotions, Geonhak remembered having the dire urge to kiss the top of Seoho's head. Now, he could do it as much as he desired without having to hold back. 

Seoho's eyes were still a little distant as the day replayed in his head like a tape recorder. When thinking back to it, it didn't seem as scary as he'd remembered. The world had felt like it was weighing down on his shoulders, and he could feel the eyes that were watching him on the other side of the camera, could even feel the thousands of people who were probably watching him shift and fidget through their televisions. Maybe it was because he was with Geonhak now—he just washed away all his worries. He'd even changed out of the suffocatingly tight clothes and was in the comfort of his bed, wrapped in his boyfriend's arms. 

His finger unconsciously drew random patterns on Geonhak's chest. Geonhak thought he picked up on the shape that was being drawn on him—a circle, then eight brushes of Seoho's finger, drawing lines. A sun. The kind of sun they taught kids to draw in kindergarten, round and dazzling with little strokes coming out of it like rays. 

Geonhak snorted. "Don't you think you're a little too old to be drawing a sun like that? This isn't kindergarten all over again." But really, he found it quite endearing, and he couldn't resist kissing Seoho's hair again.

Seoho scoffed, but his fingers were relentless as they kept drawing. "I can draw whatever I feel like drawing. Who are you to judge me?" 

Before Geonhak could retaliate, there was a knock on the other side of the door, and then Keonhee's voice sounded through the door. "Are you guys not going to come out and eat? The food's going to get cold."

Geonhak glanced down at Seoho. "Do you want to eat? You're probably hungry after today."

"I'm not really feeling hungry," Seoho answered. "I don't have an appetite right now. I'll probably eat later."

There was another rap on the door, Keonhee getting slightly impatient at the lack of an answer. "We don't want to eat right now," Geonhak yelled back.

"Whatever floats your boat, I guess." There was the sound of fading footsteps, and Keonhee was gone.

"Why did you say that?" Seoho frowned. "You should've gone out to eat. Really, you don't have to stay here with me the whole time—you're probably hungry."

Geonhak shrugged one shoulder, pressing a finger to Seoho's forehead to smoothen out the wrinkles the frown had gifted. "I can always eat later with you. We can heat up the leftovers when you get hungry."

"What makes you think there'll be _leftovers_? We live in a dorm with vultures."

"That's very true, but we can cook for ourselves, or we can order take-out if you want."

Seoho liked that idea. At least, then, he wouldn't have the other members sticking their faces in his business to make sure he was okay. He didn't know if he could face them just yet. Their members didn't blame him for stumbling over his words due to his tangled and haywire nerves, but after publicly humiliating himself like that, he was too embarrassed to show his face before them. He would face them tomorrow when he felt better.

"Geonhak, thank you," Seoho said.

"Hm, for what?"

"Just everything, I guess." 

Geonhak wished he could do more for him, but there was only so much he could do. During the broadcast, he'd sensed how anxious Seoho had been, how he couldn't sit still in his seat, his leg bouncing up and down. His fingers had itched to just reach out and give Seoho's hand a little squeeze. Maybe it wouldn't have been much, but it still would've let Seoho know that Geonhak was there for him. But he couldn't even do that, and just watched as Seoho silently broke down, his nerves overtaking him. 

Normally, Seoho didn't initiate anything, but, feeling quite daring, he said, "Hey, Geonhak, can I kiss you?"

Geonhak cocked an eyebrow before he smiled. "Do you even have to ask? We've already moved past that stage, hyung."

Seoho knew that, but even though Geonhak had moved past the first stage, taking long strides away from it at an alarmingly quick pace, Seoho was still hanging back. He normally didn't dare to initiate anything, so he let Geonhak do all the work. 

He was just feeling a little bold at the moment. 

He pushed himself up to catch Geonhak's bottom lip, humming appreciatively when Geonhak placed a firm hand on his waist. Geonhak's hands had built their home there, and whenever they were together, his hand was either on his shoulder or holding his waist. Seoho had grown used to the comforting press of Geonhak's thumb into his waist through his clothes, even began to seek the familiarity of his warm hands. The weight of them provided him with a sense of security because he still had someone who would keep him grounded, even when a part of him wanted to scamper off into the shadows. 

The door creaked open, the light patter of footsteps on the wooden floors falling on deaf ears. "Here, I brought some food if you two—Holy fuck!" Keonhee screamed, covering his eyes with the hand that wasn't holding the plate full of food. Startled, Geonhak and Seoho broke apart. "Could you two, like, not do that?! I'm going to go blind."

Geonhak grabbed the pillow underneath their heads, throwing an apologetic look to Seoho before chucking it over to the door where Keonhee was standing. "Do you mind? You could've knocked."

"I did knock! You guys were just too busy being all touchy and gross to hear it," Keonhee grumbled. He was glad there was bleach underneath the bathroom sink. His eyes needed a good rinse to get the sight out of his head. "I swear, can you two not be disgusting for once?"

"You're the one who walked in here with the knowledge that we were alone," Geonhak deadpanned. Seoho didn't know if he was imagining things, but it almost seemed like Geonhak was being a wall between him and Keonhee, shielding him. "That's on you, not us. Besides, we said we didn't want to eat."

"Even after I went through so much just to save this bit of food for you two, _this_ is how you treat me?" Keonhee huffed. "I see how it is." He set the plate down on the dresser by the bed and stomped out, mumbling something about how it was more peaceful when they weren't together. 

When the door shut behind him, Geonhak sighed and settled back onto the bed. It wasn't as comfortable anymore because there was no pillow under their heads. He glanced down at Seoho, who looked mortified. "So, wanna continue or...?"

Seoho scowled and half-heartedly shoved his shoulder. "Forget it. Keonhee spoiled my mood. I'm every bit as traumatized as he is." The one time he felt bold enough to initiate the kiss, it backfired on him. He didn't know how Geonhak could still think about resuming the kiss after that. 

~~~

Ever since Geonhak discovered Seoho's demons, he'd been a twig on the verge of snapping. There had to be a way to help Seoho see that he was more than what he made himself out to be because no matter how much Geonhak voiced it out to Seoho, it didn't seem to be enough. Even if Geonhak spelled it out for Seoho in the dirt, or carved it into a rock for him, Seoho would choose to ignore it. He'd been on the verge of snapping every time Seoho showed the slightest doubt in himself, but he'd always held himself back.

That day was the final straw. The final blow that snapped the twig.

Seoho was avoiding him all over again.

They were running through the dances for their songs to refresh their memories. When promoting Fly With Us, they didn't have the time to focus on their previous albums and their dances, and they were already beginning to forget. Keonhee had messed up at least once for every song, to which Hwanwoong smacked his shoulder, but their main dancer wasn't one to complain when he was also making the same mistakes. 

Seoho made the most mistakes out of all of them. He was out of sync, either a beat early or a beat too slow. All because he was avoiding the mirror. Even when Geonhak claimed that Seoho was improving, and he was slowly beginning to crawl out of the shadows that he desperately sought refuge in, Geonhak could still make out Seoho's darting eyes—those eyes that continued to bounce everywhere, never lingering on any polished surface in fear of catching his own reflection. 

The mirror was taunting him, Seoho concluded. The mere knowledge that he was surrounded by mirrors that begged him to look over, grappling at his attention, irked him. He continued to cower from his reflection, but whenever he was aware that he was around a surface where he could stare back at himself, there was something that tugged at him to _look_. But he was scared—afraid of what would be staring back at him. 

Hwanwoong rushed to stop the music, exasperated. "Seoho hyung, are you really feeling okay? You've made the most mistakes out of all of us and you're not even following along."

There was that sinking feeling in the pit of Seoho's stomach again—the one that willed him to crawl back into his cave, the one whose efforts went into persuading him that he was holding the group back, causing them more problems than necessary. Seoho smiled abashedly. "Sorry, I guess I'm a little out of it today." The members all examined him warily. "Really, I'm fine. I had a fitful sleep—maybe that's why."

The moment Hwanwoong started the music again, Seoho's plastic smile slipped from his face, and he grew distant again. Geonhak felt somewhat responsible for Seoho's distraction, but he didn't know why Seoho woke up that morning and chose to avoid him completely. Seoho had declined Geonhak's suggestion to sleep next to him, claiming that he was fine and he wasn't a child. 

Sometimes, there were boundaries in situations, with certain people, that alerted you if you were going too far—bright red flags stuck into the ground that prevented you from crossing, or stop signs that glared you down. This was one of those moments that Geonhak was sure Seoho was planting stop signs into the ground for. That was the last thing Geonhak wanted—for Seoho to think he was being overprotective and watching his every move like a hawk. His intention wasn't to make Seoho feel every bit like a helpless child, so Geonhak hadn't pushed it anymore. He didn't want to invade Seoho's space, corner him until he had no choice but to scamper off into the shadows again. But then Seoho started avoiding him, turning right when Geonhak was about to take a left, spinning on his heel and heading back into his room when Geonhak stepped out of the bathroom.

Geonhak felt betrayed, hurt because they'd promised to talk it out when they were plagued with doubts that wouldn't go away. Geonhak had made sure that Seoho wouldn't avoid him anymore, and Seoho had _promised_. 

But now Seoho was avoiding his gaze, avoiding him in general, and Geonhak had enough of it. He couldn't just sit idly by while Seoho continued to doubt himself anymore. 

For the longest time, Geonhak couldn't figure out what he had to do to clear Seoho's worries. He'd constantly reassured Seoho, repeating the same words of consolation until they were engraved into Seoho's mind, all while never crossing any boundaries. But maybe that was the problem. Instead of yelling words of encouragement over the fence and hoping Seoho got the message, he had to cross the boundaries that kept them apart. He couldn't continue to hold himself back from showing Seoho the love he deserved.

So instead of voicing it, Geonhak planned to show him. 

~~~

It was 9 PM when Geonhak went in search of Seoho, and he found him right where he wanted him, where he believed he'd be. In the dance practice room. Music echoed in the room, bouncing off the four walls with no place to escape to. The walls vibrated with how blaring the music was, but Seoho was unfazed as he tried his best to match his movements with the music. Geonhak peered through the door that was open ajar and watched. Seoho was determined to get the dance right, but he was distracted, his attention scattered like marbles. After messing up the same part for the third time, Seoho huffed, frustrated, and went to shut off the music.

That was when he noticed Geonhak standing by the door.

The moment their eyes locked, the sound of the booming music was drowned out in Geonhak's ears, falling into a low hum in the background. Seoho regarded him with a blank expression, his eyes illegible. He didn't flinch when Geonhak pushed the door open wider and stepped in—just continued to stare. But Geonhak wasn't blind. Albeit small, Geonhak caught the way Seoho's fingers curled into fists, his nails digging into his palms. His lips pressed into a fine line. 

That look—as if Seoho was fearful of him—didn't sit well with Geonhak. 

Then, Seoho laughed nervously, voice thin and highly strung. He glanced at the clock, and then headed over to where his phone was connected to the Bluetooth speaker, the music still playing. He disconnected it and shoved it into his bag. "I've been in here for too long, haven't I? I—I should probably get going."

Seoho's eyes darted everywhere but Geonhak, and he headed for the door. He was trying to escape, Geonhak realized. He planned to slip right by him so he could proceed to evade him. When Seoho approached the door, warm fingers wrapped around his wrist, tugging him back, away from the door. Geonhak shut the door, turning the lock of it. Seoho swallowed, blood running cold, and he picked at the skin around his fingernails. 

Wordlessly, Geonhak headed over to the wall opposite the mirror and sat with his back against the wall. He watched Seoho expectantly, and he patted the spot next to him, an invitation to what Seoho wanted to run away from cowardly. His nails digging into the strap of his bag that was slung over his shoulder, Seoho gulped and headed over to where Geonhak was sitting. He dropped his bag by Geonhak, hoping it would serve as a barrier between them. But Geonhak had other plans, and he grabbed Seoho's arm, tugging him hard, and Seoho unceremoniously fell into Geonhak's lap, straddling his thighs.

Even then, Seoho going doe-eyed from shock still pulled certain heartstrings in Geonhak's chest, and he wanted to simply push himself up to peck Seoho on the lips. But now was not the time. 

Seoho tried to push himself up, cheeks burning with shame, but the iron grip Geonhak had on his arm prevented him from moving. His eyes searched for something to look at—anything that wasn't Geonhak's eyes—and they eventually settled on the loose thread poking out of Geonhak's shirt, located on his shoulder. 

"It's late—what is it, Geonhak?" Seoho mumbled.

Geonhak searched for Seoho's eyes, begging him to lift his head and look at him through his long bangs. But under his eyelashes, his eyes were downcast, lips trembling in guilt and humiliation. 

"We have some things to talk about, don't we, hyung?" Seoho still refused to speak, much less look him in the eye. "Why did you avoid me today? I thought we were past this, hyung. Even if you couldn't crawl out of the shadows for others, at least don't hide from me—you promised." Still no answer. "Are you having doubts again today? Is that why you're avoiding me? Because you think it'll be better if you deal with it on your own?" 

Seoho resorted to picking on the loose thread of Geonhak's shirt. 

He was vulnerable, he realized, vulnerable to his doubts without Geonhak. Whenever he was with Geonhak, he played the role of his shield, gently holding Seoho in his arms and protecting him from himself, willing the demons to run away. But without him, Seoho was exposed to the demons' grabby hands, and they came right back as if Seoho were a magnet. But he couldn't continue relying on Geonhak. He'd taken Geonhak's hand and allowed him to help, but Seoho couldn't continue holding onto his hand tightly and relying solely on him. Some battles, he had to fight on his own—he couldn't continue dragging Geonhak out to the battlefield because he was incapable of standing alone.

Having had enough of it, Geonhak placed a finger under Seoho's chin and tilted his head up, forcing their eyes to lock. "Hyung, talk to me. I want to understand what you're thinking. You can't just stay silent and expect me to know what storm is brewing up in your head."

By now, Seoho had lost count of how many times Geonhak had to say those exact words. _Hyung, talk to me. I thought we were past this—you promised. Don't do that with your eyes anymore. No more apologies, hyung_. Again and again, he disappointed Geonhak. Every step forward Seoho took, he would proceed to take two steps back. Right when he believed he was improving, like Geonhak always said, he would fuck up again and stumble back.

"I—I'm sorry," Seoho stuttered. "You keep telling me I'm getting better, and I want to believe you—I really do. But I can't seem to see my progress, and I'm even starting to drag you down with me because I keep wasting your time, and you won't wait forever for me—"

"Is that how you see yourself? As a waste of my time?" Unable to hold Geonhak's gaze any longer, Seoho dropped his gaze, looking at his hands in his lap. "And you thought avoiding me would be a better idea, is that it? Instead of talking to me about everything? I want to help you and walk alongside you. I don't want you to just let go of my hand whenever you feel like it and wait until I notice that you're no longer walking with me."

Simply saying the words wouldn't do any good, though. He repeated various forms of those words at least once a day, yet they constantly fell on deaf ears. If he wanted Seoho to _understand_ , he had to engrave it into his mind until his words never left him, stuck to him like gum on the bottom of his shoe.

Geonhak pushed himself up, and Seoho startled, his hands falling on Geonhak's shoulders and keeping him at a safe distance. "Geonhak, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm trying to kiss you. What, you're just going to deprive me of kisses now?" When Seoho finally stopped resisting, Geonhak pushed himself the rest of the way up, cupping Seoho's jaw and pulling him down to meet him halfway. 

It hurt, of course, it did. It hurt that Seoho still didn't trust him enough to completely let himself go—that he still doubted Geonhak's want, and absolute need, to lead him through the road of thorns he'd been subjected to walk through. But if Seoho couldn't see Geonhak's desperation to walk Seoho up to his locked door of acceptance, then he had no other choice but to show him. 

When Geonhak laid Seoho down on the cold, hard floor of the dance practice room, their lips still locked, his fingers teasing the hem of Seoho's shirt, Seoho gasped and broke the kiss. His hands fell back on Geonhak's shoulders, pushing him away and holding him at an arms-length. "Wait, Geonhak, _now_ what are you doing?"

But the glint in Seoho's eyes implied that he did know where Geonhak was going with this. The fingers that danced over the hem of Seoho's shirt—lingering there and alerting Seoho of its presence, but never actually acting upon what it wanted to do—spoke volumes. As shocked as Seoho was, there were also traces of resignation, as if Seoho knew this day would come. The day where he would have to stop cowering from Geonhak and submit to him. 

"Hyung, am I allowed to do this?" Even if Seoho wasn't openly denying him, Geonhak still wanted to make sure they were on the same page before he violated his space. Geonhak placed his hands over where Seoho had a tight grip of the thin material of his shirt, eyes regarding him warily. His fingers sat there as he waited for the green light from Seoho.

There were fragments of anticipation in Seoho's eyes that he tried to cover up with uncertainty and fear. Not fear of Geonhak—but fear of what would become of him. Geonhak had never tried to initiate anything he wasn't sure Seoho would like, but Seoho knew Geonhak was thinking it. He could feel it in the way Geonhak's kisses sometimes became too bruising, and the way he'd tug harshly at his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, at times. He felt it in the way Geonhak's fingers always danced over his waist, firm, but always seeming to want to go beyond, tingling with the want to breach the barrier their clothes served as. Frankly, Seoho wanted it, too. He would be lying if he said he didn't. The reluctance that Geonhak spotted in Seoho's eyes wasn't because he didn't want it, but because he was afraid of how much he wanted it—his own desire that matched Geonhak's. 

Seoho's fingers loosened from where they held his shirt, and Geonhak saw it as an invitation. When Geonhak's fingers slithered under his shirt, his eyes carefully observing Seoho's reaction for any sign of refusal, all he got was Seoho grimacing at the touch of warm fingers grazing the skin of his stomach. Even when Geonhak pushed Seoho's shirt up, the only reaction he got was Seoho's crimson-dyed ears. Seoho tried to cross his arms over his chest and curl in on himself, but Geonhak pried his arms away from him, planting a kiss right in the center of his chest, causing his heart to stutter. 

"Are we really going to do this...here?" Seoho asked, uncertain. He wasn't sure if the company would like to find two of their idols engaging in unholy activities in their very public dance practice room.

Geonhak shrugged. "It couldn't hurt. We'll just have to make sure no one finds out."

How they would do that, Seoho didn't know, but he wasn't given time to ponder on it because Geonhak's fingers had relocated to the waistband of his track pants. Seoho sputtered and squeezed Geonhak's shoulder to seize his attention. "Wait, wait, wait." When Geonhak looked up questioningly, he reached his arms out. "Can you kiss me to, I don't know, distract me? I've never done this before so I'm kind of nervous." He didn't bother drawing it out, just admitted it upfront, and Geonhak's heart clenched.

So, Geonahk indulged him, moulding their lips together. Seoho felt his ears turn a darker shade of crimson—if that was even possible—when Geonhak slipped his fingers under the waistband of his pants and slowly tugged them down. The part in Seoho's mind that hopelessly tried to tug him back into the shadows urged him to withdraw and forget this ever happened, but then Geonhak was snaking his tongue into his mouth, and Seoho's mind shut down, forcing him to take and take. 

~~~

"Does anyone know where Geonhak hyung is?" Dongju asked, scanning all the members who were seated in the living room.

Young Jo stiffened in his spot on the couch. He was the only one Geonhak had talked to before slipping away without a trace, and he had been entrusted with the task to keep the younger members busy while Geonhak talked to Seoho. Whatever that meant. It didn't matter what it meant—Young Jo didn't want to know either way.

"He probably went to bring Seoho hyung back," Hwanwoong shrugged, picking at his instant noodles. This was the third time they had instant noodles in that week alone, and he was pretty sure it was getting unhealthy.

"And where's Seoho hyung?"

"Dance practice room, if I'm not mistaken," Keonhee answered through a mouthful of hot noodles. 

Dongju huffed. "The noodles are going to get cold and soggy if they don't hurry up. Shouldn't one of us go fetch them? It's been a while since I last saw Geonhak hyung."

Just as Dongju stood up, though, Young Jo grabbed his arm and tugged him back down. Frantically, he said, "Don't mind them and just eat your food. They're probably busy, so we should give them some time to be alone."

Keonhee choked on his noodles, going wide-eyed upon catching what Young Jo was implying right off the bat, and he and Hwanwoong threw furtive glances at one another. Meanwhile, Dongju's eyes flitted back and forth between the three other members, confusion scribbled on his face.

"Why are you guys all looking at each other like that? Is there something I'm missing?" Dongju asked. He was met with silence. Dongju grumbled. "What? Why are you guys not answering me? What is going on?"

"It's nothing, Dongju."

"You're lying, what am I missing? Let me in on it, too."

"Dongju, just eat your food."

~~~

Both of them stripped down until they were naked, Geonhak had taken the liberty of maneuvering them over to sit in front of the wall-length mirror, his hard cock pressed against Seoho's back, the latter sitting in his lap with his back glued to Geonhak's chest. 

Seoho might've thought that no one noticed the way he avoided his reflection, but even when no one else picked up on it, Geonhak always did. His eyes would remain downcast whenever he was in the presence of a polished surface, his need to avoid his reflection—his need to avoid himself—stemming from the doubt that had planted itself in his heart. But now, Geonhak would force Seoho to look at his own reflection—force him to gaze upon how beautiful he was, whether he was simply standing there with a smile on his face or moaning with eyes glazed over with tears. 

The moment Geonhak sat them down in front of the mirror, Seoho had caught on to what Geonhak's intentions were. He asked, "Can we turn off the lights?" Maybe then, he wouldn't be apprehensive when laying himself bare before Geonhak.

But Geonhak was unyielding. "No, we're leaving it on. I want you to see yourself." If Seoho could escape, he would've right there, but this was Geonhak. Escaping his clutches was out of the question because there, Geonhak was the predator while Seoho was merely prey for him to feast on—whether it was with his eyes or with his hands, or more. 

Preparation was quick, Geonhak sinking a slick finger into Seoho, courtesy of the lube he may or may not have brought along with him, and he studied Seoho's face, pleased to find minimal pain in his facial features. One finger worked its way up to three, languidly pumping in and out of Seoho until he was tucking his beet-red face into the crook of Geonhak's neck, his mouth agape as rhythmic whines of pleasure were breathed into Geonhak's warm flesh. 

Seoho winced when Geonhak extracted his fingers, cock hard and throbbing against the outline of his abs, but then he heard the cap of a bottle. Instantly, his nostrils were filled with the peach-scented lube, and he felt the wet tug of Geonhak's cock against the curve of his ass as well as heard the obscene squelch. 

Geonhak nuzzled at Seoho's temple, compelling the latter to lift his head from Geonhak's neck. With a hand under Seoho's jaw, Geonhak turned his face to the side, and when his tongue ran over the soft skin of Seoho's bottom lip, Seoho parted his lips, willingly granting him the entrance he sought. "Are you still feeling okay?" Geonhak asked when they broke off, and Seoho nodded. "So I can continue?" Seoho almost forgot to nod again, distracted by Geonhak's hands that were settled on his waist. The pressure of Geonhak's hand on his waist was familiar, yet also unfamiliar. Now, those hands weren't holding his clothed waist, but they were pressed against bare skin. 

And then Seoho felt the blunt head of Geonhak's cock breaching him, and his jaw fell slack as he cried weakly at the searing pain. Geonhak was patient, whispering words of praise into the shell of his ear, telling him to just breathe, and that he was doing so well for him already, while the caressing of Seoho's waist was endless. 

After some time ticked by, Seoho murmured, "You can m—move." As Geonhak had advised, he inhaled sharply as Geonhak pulled out before a gasp was pushed out of his lungs when he slid back home, as if he'd never left, buried to the hilt. Even with his thrusts, Geonhak was gentle, and Seoho was ready to sob out in frustration because he knew this wasn't the pace Geonhak wanted to go at. He knew all Geonhak wanted to do was knock the air out of him by snapping his hips up, and Seoho would be lying through his teeth if he said he didn't want the same. But even with his teeth grit as he tied himself down from his own wants, Geonhak was gentle, never wanting Seoho to experience discomfort and Seoho kind of wanted to cry. Both out of irritation and out of love because Geonhak was an absolute angel. 

But when Geonhak snapped his hips hard experimentally, simply testing the waters, the reaction he received was more than he'd expected, Seoho letting out a startled, but definitely not disapproving, moan. From there, Geonhak was thrusting with abandon, pushing back in just as quickly as he'd pulled out. Geonhak's hands served as Seoho's anchor, lifting him up with securing fingers around his waist, and then they tugged him back down just as Geonhak thrust up. 

Cry after cry was pushed out of Seoho's lungs as Geonhak's pace increased, his toes curling and back arching as Geonhak finally nudged the sensitive bundle of nerves in him, edging him on and pushing him closer to climax. Voice escalating in volume, Seoho's senses tingled, each of them setting into hyperdrive and leaving him sensitive to the touch. A trail of kisses was left along the column of Seoho's neck, each spot Geonhak kissed blazing, burning, engraved into his skin. The kisses made their way down his shoulder, and then back up to his neck.

Geonhak cooed in his ear. "You look so pretty for me, baby. It's all for me, isn't it, hyung?" The moan he earned was enough of a response, Seoho being reduced to a nonverbal mess in Geonhak's lap that could only take and feel. Between them, pet names were rare, Seoho ever calling Geonhak by his name, and Geonhak always chose to call him _hyung_ , but the pet name had something stirring in the pit of Seoho's stomach—something completely different. Seoho let his eyelids fall shut, and he leaned his head back against Geonhak's shoulder, and when the white glow of the ceiling light hit him at the right angle, Geonhak caught the sight of sweat gleaming in the dip of Seoho's collarbone, the light manifesting a halo over his head. Seoho could feel Geonhak's eyes on him, watching him, observing him, capturing each breathy moan and each expression and tucking it away into a chest to revisit in the future, only for him and his eyes alone. 

Through the mush that his brain had become, Seoho managed to find his words, stuttering out a plea. "G—Geonhak, ple—please—" In his hazy state, he wasn't sure what exactly he was begging for, just that he wanted more of everything. 

"Look up, watch yourself in the mirror, baby boy. I want you to see how beautiful you are while I fuck you." It wasn't a request, but an order, if the gentle yet underlying stern tone was anything to go by. It sent chills down Seoho's spine, and he complied, prying his eyes open to lock eyes with himself in the mirror. The moment his gaze fell on himself, he desperately wanted to shut his eyes again or tilt his head down, but the arm wrapped around his waist and the firm hand holding his chin, forcing him to stare into the mirror prevented him.

This was what Geonhak wanted—for Seoho to finally look at himself in the mirror. The action felt so foreign as Seoho took in his appearance after what felt like years, and there was a clenching, a churning, in his stomach, and still, he continued to watch himself. He watched as his soft cherry lips opened agape, producing soft cries of bliss, watched as pearly tears collected in his eyes and threatened to slip down his cheeks. His ears were now a permanent blood crimson, along with the apple of his cheeks. The expanse of Seoho's torso was adorned in pink love bites and red blotches, bordering blue-purple, from Geonhak's previous activities, proceeding down over the surface area of Seoho's inner thighs. Through his daze, Seoho had been able to remind Geonhak through stutters that they couldn't leave marks. Though he was decorated like a canvas, Geonhak had taken his warning seriously and only left marks below his collarbone, where he knew his clothes would hide it, anyway.

No matter how hard Seoho searched, he couldn't see what Geonhak saw, couldn't see what Geonhak saw in him. The creeping fingers of doubt grazed his skin, and he itched to look away, his toes digging uncomfortably into the wooden floor. But he didn't—because even though he couldn't see what Geonhak wanted him to see, he saw Geonhak. And Geonhak—he was staring at him with eyes dark and deep with lust, but it was gentle, like he was a treasure to behold, a rare gem. Their gazes locked in the mirror, and Geonhak regarded him like he was someone special, someone worth protecting, and that thought alone had Seoho swooning, his stomach coiling from the building pressure. His gaze fell to where they were connected, where Geonhak pushed into him fervently, and he couldn't help but let another moan tumble out of his mouth. 

Unable to take any more of himself, or Geonhak's piercing gaze staring him down, Seoho squeezed his eyes shut again, taking everything Geonhak provided him. Despite having his eyes closed, though, Seoho still felt Geonhak's lingering gaze—his heavy stare that pinned Seoho to the spot, drizzling over his bare body like honey and weighing him down, leaving him open and vulnerable for Geonhak to pull apart. When Seoho's right leg curled into his chest, Geonhak grabbed it by his inner knee and slung it over his leg, and now Seoho was really exposed, too bare for Geonhak's eyes to feast off of, nothing left to the imagination. Seoho wanted to curl into himself, hide in the shadows again at how open he was, but it was just Geonhak. _It's just Geonhak, it's just Geonhak, it's just—_

Praises were delivered to Seoho's ear in the form of murmurs and groans, and through his muddled brain, Seoho picked up on a few words. _You're doing so well. You look so gorgeous for me, hyung_. The words brought a clenching in Seoho's heart that was beyond lust, and it fuelled him to turn his head to the side and capture Geonhak's lips in another messy kiss, more tongue and teeth than anything else. When Geonhak trailed the kiss down to the nape of Seoho's neck, the vocalist was no longer responsive, jaw slack and staccato moans escaping him like a broken recorder. 

Then, with a hand placed in the center of Seoho's back, Geonhak forced him to fall forward onto his arms and torso, his back arched and ass up in the air like a cat, knees splayed wide. Seoho gasped. "Geonhak, what—" His next words dulled down into a simple whine when Geonhak shushed him and slipped back in to the hilt, proceeding to pound into him with great fervour. 

Seoho was engulfed in flames, the blood coursing through his veins heating up into lava, and his skin was blazing. His senses were all filled with Geonhak until he felt nothing else but him—Geonhak behind him, on him, in him. With each thrust, his knees rubbed uncomfortably against the floor, but the discomfort was washed away by the deep grinds that pushed whine after whine out of him. Then, Geonhak's hand slid in between his legs and tugged his cock in time with his thrusts until Seoho was downright wailing into his folded arms. 

Geonhak had yet to figure out if this was all just in his head—if he was just dreaming all of this, and he'd later startle awake in his bed with a yearning heart. If it was really a dream, he never wanted to wake up, never wanted to let Seoho go. But his nails that dug into Seoho's waist and the growing pressure in the pit of his stomach brought him out of his mind, informed him that this was very much real.

Draping himself over Seoho's sweaty back, Geonhak dropped chaste kisses from the base of his spine up to the nape of his neck. And despite everything, Geonhak found his heart swelling in adoration at how beautiful he was, how pliant and precious he was underneath him. Kissing the back of Seoho's hair, Geonhak said, "Hyung, I love you."

Seoho almost overlooked the words, almost let them escape through his fingers without giving them a second thought until the words finally clicked. And now, more tears welled in Seoho's eyes but for a completely different reason. They'd never declared their love for one another out loud before. Both of them had thought it, danced around the words with loving gestures in hopes that the other would understand, but neither of them ever dared to speak the words. Until now, that was. 

Opening his mouth, Seoho hoped to return the words, let Geonhak know that he felt the same, that he'd always felt so strongly about him, but the only sound he could produce was a muffled moan. Geonhak understood, though, because he always did—he always knew what Seoho wanted to say, and Seoho wondered if overnight, he'd suddenly become an open book, his actions and thoughts too predictable. 

Then, Seoho's muscles tensed, his stomach twisting until he was sure the knot wouldn't ever loosen, and Geonhak said, "Are you close?" Seoho nodded into his arms, trembling in Geonhak's hold, and Geonhak's pace picked up. Sizzling energy ran through Seoho's veins, and he finally tipped over the edge, releasing over Geonhak's hand as his eyes rolled into the back of his head as white noise blared in his ears. 

He didn't pick up on anything beyond that point, simply went limp, knees giving out, but he managed to catch Geonhak's groan before his insides grew warm. Even after everything, Seoho still blushed, and his scrambled mind almost forced a pathetic whine out of his chest when Geonhak pulled out. If he was in his right, fully functioning mind, he would've slapped himself. 

With an arm around Seoho's torso, Geonhak lifted him off the floor, seating him properly in his lap. He ran a soothing hand up and down Seoho's side until he finally came to, vision and mind alike finally clearing up. 

But Seoho still hadn't forgotten what Geonhak had told him, and if he were still drunk on pleasure, it probably would've been easier to babble out. Clearing his throat, he mumbled under his breath, "I love you, too." The reddening of his face didn't seize, and Seoho buried his face in Geonhak's neck, embarrassed.

Thinking and expressing it was one thing, but hearing the words out loud was something different. Seoho had picked up a habit of doodling on Geonhak's chest out of boredom, and occasionally, when Seoho believed Geonhak had fallen asleep, he would scribble out the word _love_ over his heart. But knowing that Seoho was thinking it and writing it out for him was nothing compared to hearing Seoho say it with his own lips. And maybe, just maybe, Geonhak's heart ached with more love for Seoho than it was capable of holding.

"Should we head back now?" Geonhak said, grateful that his voice didn't shake out of overwhelming happiness. "The others are probably looking for us." Seoho shifted, humming in understanding, but made no actual attempt to get up. 

"You're so inconsiderate," Seoho grumbled. "I just got fucked for the first time in my life, and I can't stand up."

"Now you're just exaggerating."

"Fine, then pull me up and see if I can stand on my own or not."

Geonhak grinned before kissing Seoho's hair again, then he reached behind him in search of his pants. Whipping his phone out of his pocket, Geonhak turned it on to see a few messages from Young Jo.

**young jo hyung**

_so...I kept the others away from you two as you asked_

_you better pay me_

_or treat me to a meal_

_anything to repay me for the misery you put me through_

Geonhak snorted. "Young Jo hyung doesn't seem too happy with us. We really should head back." Seoho grumbled but didn't put up another fight—just let Geonhak clean him up and tug his clothes back on. 

There was a twinkle in Seoho's eyes, and his shoulders were no longer tense, his lips no longer pressed together with the burden of something he couldn't hold. He looked relaxed, better than he had in a while, and Geonhak considered it a victory. He had always been scared to overstep any boundaries, in case he was pushing Seoho past his limits. But now, he realized that it was alright to cross certain boundaries. Because he got to see Seoho with ease and comfort in his eyes, something Geonhak hadn't seen in the longest time. 

It wasn't easy to chase away doubts that plagued your mind, and Geonhak knew that simply getting intimate for the first time wouldn't drive those demons away so quickly, but at least Seoho had taken a step out of the first stage. After so long of pacing back and forth in the same spot, never knowing if he should move forward or not, Geonhak decided for them, letting his lust fuel him. 

Geonhak didn't realize he was staring so intently until Seoho cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you staring at me like that? Is there something on my face?"

"No, it's nothing," Geonhak replied, and Seoho didn't push it—just gave him a questioning look. 

Geonhak wondered how they'd even ended up here—ended up together, living each of their fantasies and bringing them to life. It was akin to a dream—too good to be true. Maybe that was because he was with Seoho, and Seoho himself was a dream. He'd lured Geonhak in with his radiant smiles, his melodic laughter, and his sweet words, and crept into his system without Geonhak's knowledge. And now, when their eyes locked, and Seoho flashed him that same smile that Geonhak had put in so much effort to save, Geonhak knew he would never get Seoho out of his system.

~~~

Young Jo gave Geonhak a very betrayed look when he walked in with Seoho, his hair a mess and his body sticky and smelly with sweat. Hwanwoong lowered the volume of the drama they were watching, while Dongju took a bite of his apple and frowned. "Why do both of you look like that? Did you guys dance _that_ much?"

Keonhee almost facepalmed. "Just...Just leave them, Dongju. And can you two go shower? You're both a mess."

"Wanna shower together?" Geonhak asked, ignoring the faces the others were making, and the gagging noises.

Seoho had barely managed to lower the crimson tint in his face, but now he could feel the blood rising up to his cheeks all over again. "Uh, no thanks. I don't think I'm up for a second round."

Behind Geonhak, Dongju yelled, "Wait, _second round_? Keonhee hyung, what are they talking about? They're not talking about what I think they're talking about, right?"

Young Jo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

~~~

Fingers pinched and pulled at Seoho's nipples, and he saw white as his back arched, and he came all over his chest, breathing laboured and head spinning. He didn't register the last couple of thrusts until Geonhak collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily into his ear. The bunk bed creaked when Geonhak pulled out and stood up in search of a box of tissues. 

The dorm was probably not the best place to have sex. If Seoho was being honest, he had it down as the last place he ever wanted to fuck, in case their members walked in on them, and to make matters worse, their doors didn't have locks. But Geonhak had insisted, saying they would be _quiet_ , even though Seoho should've known better. There was no way they would be able to keep quiet. Except, Seoho had never been able to refuse Geonhak when he gave him puppy eyes, and this time was no different. 

Discarding the soiled tissues in the trash bin by the door after cleaning them both up, Geonhak grabbed his phone off the dresser before settling down next to Seoho on the bed. "Throwing those tissues in the bin was probably not a good idea," Seoho pointed out.

"We can deal with that later," Geonhak said. Upon turning on his phone, he came across messages from each of the members, and he laughed. "Look what our loving members sent us." He turned his phone for Seoho to see.

**our maknae**

_OH, HOW I WISH TO BE DEAF_

**woongie**

_are you guys...actually for real??_

_maybe a little waRNING next time??_

**keonheehee**

_I'm moving out and never coming back istg,,,_

**young jo hyung**

_I had to evacuate the children and calm them down for you two_

_I swear I don't get paid enough for this_

Seoho groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I _told_ you we shouldn't have done it in the dorm. We even scarred them." This was a blow to Seoho's dignity he was sure he'd never recover from. 

"But you still agreed to it."

"Because of your goddamn puppy eyes. I never know whether to punch your face through the floor or oblige to whatever crazy things you have in mind. Sometimes, I want to do both."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Why haven't you done it yet?" Geonhak raised himself on one elbow, shoving Seoho's cheek with his head. "Go on, punch me, if you're so high and mighty. Go on, do it." 

"Go away, you smell!" Seoho grumbled, but he laughed when Geonhak dropped a kiss to the tip of his nose. "You're so annoying."

"It's all for you," Geonhak winked.

Seoho wrinkled his nose, feigning disgust. "Ew, gross. I think I get what the members mean now when they complain that you're being too affectionate."

"Have you ever thought that maybe you're the reason why?"

With no comeback prepared, Seoho just glared before looking away. Sometimes, Seoho really wanted to punch Geonhak. This was one of those times.

~~~

The last time they'd had a movie night together was after their promotions for Fly With Us ended, which was almost a month ago. Now, they were back in their living room, Netflix open on the TV while the members sat in similar spots in the living room. They'd filled three large bowls with buttered popcorn, and cola cans sat on the table. 

"Alright, movie request, guys."

"Please, can we watch Avengers: Endgame this time? We didn't get to watch it last time."

"Okay, Dongju wants to watch that. Does anyone else have any other suggestions?"

"Let's watch something dark."

"Like what?"

"Guys, Avengers!"

Geonhak sighed and sagged back into the cushions of the couch. This was the dispute that ensued every time the idea of movie night was even brought up. Settling it civilly was always out of the question, and Geonhak would simply hang back and watch in amusement as Dongju brewed up a storm with his complaints. An equally exasperated sigh came from Geonhak's right, and Seoho rested his head on his shoulder, eyeing the other members.

"They're going to be doing this for a while, won't they?" Seoho said. Geonhak nodded. "Remind me why we even have movie nights anymore? They just sit there and argue, or they could go with whatever movie Dongju wants for once instead of bothering him."

"Because picking fun at Dongju is more amusing than actually settling down with a decent movie. If they don't settle on a movie by the time it's 11, do you wanna go back to your bedroom?"

Hwanwoong, having picked up on the last bit of their conversation—because he was always eavesdropping—yelled, "Not to fuck, I hope!" He cackled, dodging the pillow Geonhak grabbed from the end of the couch and threw at him.

Three minutes later, right before the clock hit 11 PM, the members finally decided to indulge Dongju and put on Avengers: Endgame. Happily, Dongju opened a cola can and took a long sip from it.

"How long is this movie?" Seoho mumbled into Geonhak's shoulder.

"I heard it was over three hours long."

"That long?!" Seoho wasn't sure if he'd survive three hours. His eyelids were already growing heavy. "I'll probably knock out before the movie even reaches halfway." He yawned.

Looking up, he pecked Geonhak's chin, causing the latter to look down questioningly. When he did, Seoho pushed himself up to cup his jaw and mold their lips together. 

Seoho had never really been the affectionate type, and even when they became official, Geonhak initiated most of the kisses, the hugs, the love-making. Yet lately, Seoho was more daring. More cuddly. At first, Seoho would steal kisses when he was sure the other members weren't watching, and he snuggled into Geonhak's side when he sought reassurance, or whenever he really felt like it. However, even when they were around the other members, Seoho no longer seemed to be fazed, simply glaring at the others when they made disgusted remarks. 

Sometimes, the stares got a little too much, and Seoho itched to crawl back into the shadows, wanted to lock his chest again and hide away from the eyes of everyone, where he knew he was most safe. But Geonhak was always there, never pressuring him, never pushing him past his limits—simply nudging him in the right direction and letting him walk on his own when he was ready. And really, that was all Seoho needed. 

Hwanwoong coughed, grabbing their attention and forcing them apart. "Guys, we may not have eyes on the back of our heads, but please refrain from kissing in front of us. Some of us actually want to enjoy the movie."

Geonhak didn't have another pillow to throw at him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you managed to get this far, congratulations! I applaud you in reading this chaotic series that really was unplanned. This was actually all supposed to be a 4k one-shot until I came up with the idea to split it up into three parts, and then I came up with this mess. 
> 
> As always, I love reading comments because they never fail to brighten my day, and kudos are also greatly appreciated :)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all have a good day! <3


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